Vintage Budget Eco Bride

Do you have to include all your spouse-to-be's siblings in the wedding party? That is something you as a couple need to decide. Many couples like to include each other's siblings, and others choose not to. The important thing is to make sure you as a couple are happy with the decision. I wanted a small wedding party, and still haven't met my fiance's sister. I asked him whether he wanted me to have her as a bridesmaid or not. He was fine either way, but we both agree that we want her involved somehow. As she has to travel to come to our wedding, and probably will not be in the area much before the wedding, we are discussing things we could ask her to do at the reception (we're still in the process). The important thing is that both of you are happy (as it is not just the bride's day, but the bride and groom's day), and no one winds up with very hurt feelings. That being said, also do not let your family rule on who exactly is in your wedding party and who isn't. Just because they think all your cousins should be in the wedding party doesn't mean that you can't ask who you actually want to stand up with you without your wedding party becoming huge. It is your (as a couple) decision, and your wedding. Basically, you need to walk the fine line between not hurting anyone's feelings, and still keeping the wedding as your own.

Don't want a large wedding party, but find that there are quite a few people you want to include? There are other things you can ask people to do other than be an attendant. Do you want a couple of readings in your ceremony? You are going to need someone to do that, and who better to ask than a close friend or family member. Want special music, and have someone with musical talent? Ask them if they would be willing to sing, or play in the wedding. Have a seating chart for the reception? Ask one or two of those people you want to include if they would be willing to direct people to their seats or table (depending on how strict your seating chart is). Friends and family will be honored to be asked to do anything for your special day. I have a friend who has been a bridesmaid several times--it seemed kinder to ask her to be a reader than to ask her to buy yet another dress and go through the other expenses of being a bridesmaid. That being said, she is more local than another of my bridesmaids, and is “filling in” with ideas and other kinds of help for my sister. I was a reader for her wedding as well (after I talked her into not worrying so much about trying to get everyone she cares about into the wedding party-- I had to repeat several times that I would not be offended if I was not a bridesmaid, and I would be honored to do anything for her wedding). Another friend I was a bridesmaid for plays both the flute and the clarinet (I am leaning towards her playing the clarinet, as I am partial to it, playing it myself).

There is nothing that says you can't have a person of the opposite sex stand up with you. My fiance's “best man” is a woman he refers to as his cousin. Just make sure that the person you are asking is okay with it (and not just saying yes because he or she feels like saying no isn't an option) and make sure that the person he or she will be paired up with for the walk down the aisle after the wedding is okay with it too, and if not, do some rearranging so he or she is paired up with someone who doesn't mind (much the way you would make sure to not pair up two people who can't stand each other). In my case, my sixteen (who will be seventeen for the wedding) year old sister is going to be my maid of honor, and I asked her if she would be comfortable with it, as opposed to being escorted out by a man in his twenties that she probably will not have met (aside from a quick introduction) before the wedding. She was much more comfortable with the idea of being escorted out by a woman she will probably meet before we get married.